Soulbreak Cry

God. I've been something like a Christian for years, but I sometimes drift and the doubts threaten to overwhelm me. It's been that way recently. This is an older poem of mine, but it's well descriptive of my spiritual swing between doubting and being faithful.

Were it the span of the heavens
Or the depths of the sea.
Twas never so wide,
As the Space formed by me.
I cry out in my prison.
I see your hand in the sun.
Oh My God, My God!
What have I done?
Pulled into glass pieces,
Now where can I go?
Fettered in by my sin,
I scream, you say no.
One way to change this,
Sad power of Blood.
Clawing for surface,
I see where I stood.
Yo do now accept me,
I am bowed at your throne.
I screamed to you mercy,
No longer Alone.

Restless

Went camping Friday night and Saturday day. I climbed some waterfalls, ran on some trails, caught a frog, burned things in the fire, painted myself with glowsticks. Sounds like a good time doesn't it? Well it was, but the thing is, instead of sating my desire for an adventure, it made it stronger. The need for something challenging and adrenalizing (i made that word up) is about to drive me over the edge.
I went out looking for an adventure last night and tonight too, but didn't find much. I need to go rock-climbing or do some martial arts, or maybe just run. I'm trying to get a fencing club going, and that is turning out to be a twisted maze of challenges, but it doesn't create much of a rush. Hopefully tomorrow I can go check out the fencing club over at Rose Hulman and have a bit of fun.