"I just made you up to hurt myself"

Some rain clouds rain on your parade in a cheerful manner and you can look up at them and laugh because you know they're up to harmless mischief. And then there's the ones that are up to no good, but they think they're only having fun. But really, this rain cloud stuff is avoiding the point and the only reason it's managed to get this far is too much sugar and too little sleep in my bloodstream.
What I'm really on about is people. The people you think you can trust, and you think care about you so you return the emotion blissfully and then they bite the hand that feeds. But like a dog, instead of yelling at them, you forgive it and assume they were just in a bad mood that day. But eventually, that dog bites you often enough that you realize it's just not an even-tempered dog. However, the good thing is, the dog runs away! And of course then you can rejoice because now you can still love the dog, and wish it well; you know its better off because now you can walk around freely without having the worry of teeth close to your sensitive areas and a cold nose in your nether regions. You're sure the dog will fend for itself, just like it did before you loved it and took it in, and it DID seem glad to go.
So you go along gleefully with your life, and you manage to acquire a cat who offers to hold you close and respect your sensitive areas. But now, now you know what teeth can do so when the cat smiles at you, all you see is teeth and you cower in a corner. The cat can't understand, and you can't tell him about the dog because he'll think you're a traitor.
Then, one fateful day... that dog shows back up at your door. It wags its tail and lolls its tongue. You loved it so much and still do though you've turned what was before, into a mere wish that it be protected from harm. How can you turn that face away? So you let it in and kick the cat out because it never managed to understand you as well as the dog does anyway. You're cautious, because of course you've been bitten before, but that dog says "hey, i love you!" but of course you're confused because all it seemed to want was rid of you.
So this person-dog looks you in the eyes and says "don't be afraid". You aren't afraid though, you're just cautious and confused because now he isn't making any more sense than a pickle and ice cream sandwich. But you LIKE pickle and ice cream sandwiches, because the vinegar shocks and bites and then the ice cream comes through and soothes and teases and fills your mouth with sweet creamy goodness. So you just accept it and prepare for a lashing when it all goes wrong again.
But you must know what his intentions are, correct? Before you let his teeth close enough to tease and hurt? "Go on!" your friends say, "you better bloody well ask him!". So you do, and he ignores you. Write it off to a distraction of some sort and try again; and yet again he doesn't deign to reply. "Once more" you think, and give it a final heave, but he still doesn't answer. Yet somehow, that is an answer in itself, because you can only think of one reason why he wouldn't answer the question! So now you know, and you must know because you haven't any other options. You know this: that he can't make up his mind but would never reveal to you what you would reveal to him.
But then the beautiful tragedy comes! Oh yes, he deigns to speak to you and eventually you find out what is going through his mind. You find out because it's just like a child, you can taunt with a smile until he gives you what you want so he can get what he wants. But now, now you're annoyed beyond belief because it shouldn't have taken this long to procure an answer. You used to be able to communicate so well, but that broke down and now you have to resort to primal behaviors to get civilized answers. "So easy a caveman can do it" indeed. Yet for some reason, despite the utter crimson rage you feel, you still don't want to hurt the beast.
It's only the curse of an empath, to never try to hurt even when you want to. Hating yourself after the fact, you write an apology for damages done with tears on your lashes and moths in your stomach. But when its over, you know you've done the correct thing, even though you hate yourself for being the one to give in. You would really have lost if you'd stooped so low as to seek revenge though. "Now" you wonder, "will this reconcile what has been done? Will a reply be a good thing or a bad thing?" Deep down, you wish for a reply, but deeper still you know that no reply is probably a good thing. You've ended it, left the dragon appeased with the blood of good intentions. Because Kant said "the only good thing in this world is a good will" and he was correct in that.
May peace reign herein and hereout, forthwith.
~Korin

"I just made you up to hurt myself and it worked, yes it did" Only by Nine Inch Nails